SIGNS

BLASPHEMY JOURNAL ENTRY

i used to think being gay was a sin.

now, i know it is.

blasphemy tastes like your love.

i saw him board behind me.

his face was drawn and snot was pouring from his nose he didn’t care to wipe.

“is this train headed to gresham?”

“i believe so,” i said. the city was still a maze for me.

“you believe so?”

that set him off. mucus dripping. clenching and releasing his hands

staring at me until he couldn’t take it anymore

“fucking FAGGOT!”

he stood up quick and held a fist in the air aimed at my head.

penance had hired a bounty hunter.

i had no adrenaline left to react. we locked eyes.

“you gunna hit me?”

he arched over me. frozen.

defeated by my indifference, he stumbled out of the freshly opened doors.

is this what passing feels like?

a woman this time. walked on the train still smoking a cigarette.

a near empty car and she sat next to a teenage girl who was nervously polite.

i took off my headphones.

just in case.

a commotion. the woman screamed and poked her fingers in the young girls eyes.

i stood up. told her to stop and motioned for the girl to escape to an empty seat.

“fuck you,” the woman said as ash hit the floor.

the doors opened and she shuffled towards them.

“that hat makes you look like a boy.”

i smiled as the insult flew past me.

“i am a boy,” i said as the girl sat across from me shaking.

is this what passing feels like?